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Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Do you Need To or Do You Want To?


Some things you need to do. Some things you want to do. Some things you need to do, but you don't want to do. And, some things you want to do, but you don't need to do.

Whether you consider any particular thing a need or a want may be a matter of opinion. But, there will be some things that are needs no matter how you feel about them. And, then there are some things that are needs depending on each particular situation.

When you want to do something and it happens to be something you need to, it is usually the best thing for you. Diet, exercise and rest immediately come to mind. And, when you need it and you want it, there is never any conflict within you. You just do it. No extra effort is necessary.

When something that you need to do is something that you don't want to do, well there is where we have a problem. 

When a want and a need do not agree then conflict arises. An internal battle develops in your mind. Sometimes this is a quick battle and other times it is drawn out. Eventually the stronger of the two, the need or the want, will win out. And, no matter what wins, the need or the want, you will experience some kind of stress.

When you do what you need to do but don't really want to do, you deal with the feelings of sacrifice or that sense that you gave in and did the right thing. Conversely, when you do what you want to do instead of what you need to do, you have a sense of guilt. You lose either way. And, not only do you lose, there is usually some future pain for the choice you made.

There is no argument that you need a good night's sleep. Sometimes you even want a good night's sleep. But, sometimes you want to stay up and watch your favorite team's game more than you want to sleep. You choose the want over the need. And, when you choose a want over a need, you will pay every time.



The thing about wants and needs is their value. Needs have a consistent value and if you don't address them, then you will pay for it. There is no recourse. But, wants are different. They seem really important at the time but later? Not so much. You do experience some kind of pain but it's not near the kind of pain you experience when you don't address a need.

Most needs are physical. Sleep, diet, exercise and personal care are all needs. Your physical being is the basis on which everything else is built. You cannot pursue intellectual passions, entrepreneurial adventures, philanthropic pursuits or materialistic riches without a physical basis that will allow you to.

Steve Jobs was making a dent in the universe until he became sick. Without physical health, you have nothing else. You cannot invent, create, teach or contribute in any way without physical health. And, if you really want big success, you just don't take care of your physical needs, you maximize them.

Other needs exist in your relationships, your career and your finances. If you keep choosing the wants over the needs you will eventually experience pain. The key is discipline. The discipline of choosing what you need to do. See What Is Discipline.

The interesting thing about needs and wants is that needs are long-term. As long as you take care of your needs, your long-term success is almost guaranteed. But when you satisfy the wants, success, in whatever, is delayed at best and completely lost at worst. Choosing wants is usually associated with immediate gratification, the I want it now attitude, and a complete lack of discipline.

The choice is clear but never easy. 

What is your choice, do you need to or do you want to?


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Is It You or Them?



You is you.  Them is everyone else.  Them are your kids.  Them are your neighbors.  Them are your coworkers, your friends, and your spouse.

Them is everyone not you.

When you think about the successes and failures in your life, was it you or them?  When you think about the good times and the bad times, was it you or them?

Understanding the prospective of "you or them" is critical to your success, your failure and ultimately your happiness.  There is one particular concept in regards to the "you or them" question that once understood it, makes all your future "you or them" questions easy to answer.

Here it is...

Everything in your life is your fault.  No matter what.  It is your fault. Good or bad.  By what you did or did not do.


Of course there are situations that happen to you.  Bad weather, bad traffic, bad people and the like.  These are all things that you do not control. These are not your fault.  But, you have to deal with them and how you deal with them is your fault.  No excuses.

If wake up and find a foot of snow outside and you grumble about the clean up and the kids not going to school.  You set yourself up to be unhappy.  You focus on all the things that are wrong with the situation.  All the loss.  All the inconvenience.  That is your choice. And, that choice is in your control.  That choice is your fault.

The way you ended up feeling about that situation is your fault.  So if you are unhappy and miserable you only have to look in the mirror to find the guilty party.


If you have become frustrated with the lack of advancement in your profession or your earnings, ask what keeps getting in the way? The answer is you.  It is not your boss, your customers, or the economy.  It is you.

Somewhere there is someone in your profession that is succeeding at high level.  That someone may even have the same boss, customers and economy as you. What's the difference?

You are the difference.

It's not them. It's you.  They are doing something different than you. Their success is their fault.  Their choices are their fault. Their attitude and approach to life is their fault.  It is their fault just like your attitude and your approach is your fault.  They are just getting different results than you.  Maybe it's their attitude? Or, is it yours?

That same person, who is succeeding in your profession, also gets up and sees that same foot of snow that you did.  They see the snow and instead of grumbling about it, they think, I'm going to get a different workout today.  And, I'll get to play with the kids!  

Same situation.  Different attitude, different choices.  Better results.

Make better choices, get better results.  

It's up to you.  It always has been.


Sunday, September 10, 2017

What is Discipline?


This is one of the most misunderstood personal characteristics of human behavior. And, one of the most admired.

It can single-highhandedly be the very reason someone succeeds in spite of great challenges and limited resources. And, it is not limited to just success with money. Being disciplined can assist and accelerate growth in any area of life. Discipline will make you healthier, wealthier, communicate better, be more focused, improve your relationships and avoid problems.

Discipline helps in every area of life. Discipline helps with your personal life, your career, your extended relationships and in social settings.

There is virtually no limit to what this single personal behavior can do for a person. And, the best part is that it is not something a person is born with. It is a skill that can be learned and developed. And, anyone can learn it. Anyone can apply it.  Anyone can use it to make their life better.

If they choose to...

Discipline is a choice. 

It is a choice between doing what you want to do and doing what you need to do. This distinction is an important one. There are things people want to do that at one time they needed to. And, by using discipline the need to do became a want to do.

Discipline helped them get started. And, occasionally they will use discipline to keep themselves going. But, the disciplined repetition turned it into a habit making ongoing discipline unnecessary.

Discipline is an attitude.

It is an attitude of always doing what the right thing no matter how hard it is. It's having the uncomfortable conversation you need to have with a friend, a coworker or a spouse but don't want to have. It's eating the salad instead of the ice cream. It's going to the gym instead of hitting the snooze button.

Discipline is a mindset.

It is an unyielding way of thinking. It is seeing what needs to be done and doing it no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient it may be. It is the engagement of a single-minded purpose that refuses to lose.

Discipline is consistency.

It is doing the the right thing over and over again no matter how boring or monotonous it may seem. It is understanding that Little Things Do Matter. And, doing the little things day in and day out achieves big things over time.

Discipline is a commitment.

It is a decision to do a certain thing and stick with it until is is done. It is realizing that Done Is Better Perfect and all results count in getting to the goal. It is never giving up.

Discipline is a challenge.

It is the reason you feel tired after pushing where others would have quit. It is the reason you feel stretched. It is the reason you have grown to become someone you could have never even imagined becoming.  But, so glad you did.

Discipline is the difference.

It is the difference between you and the non-achiever. It is the reason you succeed and others fail. It is the reason you have a fulfilled life and others taste regret. It is the difference between success and failure. It is the difference between the you that tried and the you that didn't try.

Discipline is the answer.

It is the answer to any problem that plagues you. It is the answer to any challenge you face. It is the answer to any obstacle that you need to overcome.

You already know what to do. Discipline will make you do it. 

Discipline is the answer to Fear.













Monday, September 4, 2017

Are you Blessed or are you Cursed?



This is not an easy question to answer. There is more than one way to look at any situation. One man's garbage is another man's treasure.

If you look at the situations in your life with an attitude of why did this happen to me? Then you may feel cursed to have had such luck. But, another person may look at the same situation as a blessing because of the lessons they learned and the strong person they became because of them.

In either case, the situations have happened or they continue to happen. If they are in the past, there is nothing that can change them. They are a part of you whether you choose to admit it or not. If they continue to exist then you must deal with them. You have no choice.

Or, do you?

You do have a choice in how you perceive your situations. So, whether you are blessed or cursed is not a condition, it's a choice.

It is a choice that you make either consciously or unconsciously. It is a choice made about how you feel about the situations in your life. It is a choice you make about the conditions you have experienced.


If you choose the "why me" approach. You probably feel cursed. You take on the victim's attitude.

If you choose the "why not me" approach. You probably feel blessed. You take on the warrior's attitude when facing a challenge. 

Interestingly enough, there are people in situations that one may consider great but the people in them feel cursed. There are many examples of people that appear to "have it all" and yet they are miserable, unhappy and feel burdened by their lives. And, there are others that have very little yet are some of the happiest people you'd ever meet.



Whether you are blessed or cursed is not a condition, it is a decision. It is what you decide to make of it.

If you experience a series of setbacks, you can decide to put your nose to the grindstone and push your way through the setbacks. This will make you a stronger person.

If you experience a series of setbacks, you can decide to quit and give up on your goal. This will make you a weaker person.

Whether you are blessed or cursed is an attitude. It is how you face the challenges in your life. It is how you decide to deal with your personal situations. It is a choice of letting life happen to you or letting life happen for you.




The power of the choice, the decision and the attitude are yours. What will you do?

Keep this in mind, there is a high correlation between people who think they are blessed and people who approach life with a "cup half full" attitude. It makes a difference.

And, it is not just positive thinking although that certainly never hurts.

Remember what Zig Ziglar taught, "Positive thinking won't help you do anything in life. But, it will help you do everything better than negative thinking will."

Are you blessed or are you cursed?