Are you Blessed or are you Cursed?

This is not an easy question to answer. There is more than one way to look at any situation. One man's garbage is another man's treasure.

If you look at the situations in your life with an attitude of why did this happen to me? Then you may feel cursed to have had such luck. But, another person may look at the same situation as a blessing because of the lessons they learned and the strong person they became because of them.

In either case, the situations have happened or they continue to happen. If they are in the past, there is nothing that can change them. They are a part of you whether you choose to admit it or not. If they continue to exist then you must deal with them. You have no choice.

Or, do you?

You do have a choice in how you perceive your situations. So, whether you are blessed or cursed is not a condition, it's a choice.

It is a choice that you make either consciously or unconsciously. It is a choice made about how you feel about the situations in your life. It is a choice you make about the conditions you have experienced.

If you choose the "why me" approach. You probably feel cursed. You take on the victim's attitude.

If you choose the "why not me" approach. You probably feel blessed. You take on the warrior's attitude when facing a challenge. 

Interestingly enough, there are people in situations that one may consider great but the people in them feel cursed. There are many examples of people that appear to "have it all" and yet they are miserable, unhappy and feel burdened by their lives. And, there are others that have very little yet are some of the happiest people you'd ever meet.



Whether you are blessed or cursed is not a condition, it is a decision. It is what you decide to make of it.

If you experience a series of setbacks, you can decide to put your nose to the grindstone and push your way through the setbacks. This will make you a stronger person.

If you experience a series of setbacks, you can decide to quit and give up on your goal. This will make you a weaker person.

Whether you are blessed or cursed is an attitude. It is how you face the challenges in your life. It is how you decide to deal with your personal situations. It is a choice of letting life happen to you or letting life happen for you.

The power of the choice, the decision and the attitude are yours. What will you do?

Keep this in mind, there is a high correlation between people who think they are blessed and people who approach life with a "cup half full" attitude. It makes a difference.

And, it is not just positive thinking although that certainly never hurts.

Remember what Zig Ziglar taught, "Positive thinking won't help you do anything in life. But, it will help you do everything better than negative thinking will."

Are you blessed or are you cursed?

What is Fear?

Fear is a liar.

Fear is the voice in your head that says you are not good enough. Fear says you don't have what it takes to reach your goals. Fear will whisper in your ear all the reasons why you can't do it. Fear will tell you your not strong enough. Fear will tell you you're not worthy. Fear will tell you that you should be ashamed.

Fear is a thief.

Fear will steal your dreams. Fear is a taker. Fear is a robber. Fear will steal your intentions.  Fear will steal your passions and keep you in a boring and safe routine day after day until you utter a deathbed whisper of regret.

Fear is a prison.

Fear will keep you safely locked away from risk. Fear will keep you fenced in and away from trying. Fear will build walls that protect you from failure, success, pain, pleasure and anything else that it perceives as the least bit threatening. Fear will keep you in a comfort zone where you will never put yourself on the line. Fear will never let you grow.

Fear is a reaction.

Fear is an emotion. Fear is a response to a perceived future that may or may not ever come true. Fear is primitive. Fear is an under-developed emotion that was meant to keep you safe when you were a cave dweller. Fear is obsolete.

Fear is an excuse.

Fear becomes the reason you don't try. Fear is the reason you don't go for it. Fear is the reason you quit when you've almost made it. Fear is the crutch you use to explain the lackluster and uninspired life you've chosen.

Fear is an obstacle.

Fear is what you use to hold yourself back. Fear is an unlocked door you just don't turn the handle and open. Fear is what you put between you and what you truly want to do. Fear is why your book never gets written, your song never gets sung, your company never gets started and your purpose is never known. Fear is what keeps you from being you.

Fear is an illusion.

Fear is need. Fear is lack. Fear is why you please others at your peril. Fear is why you spend money you don't have to impress people you don't know.

Fear is obedience.

Fear is coloring inside the lines. Fear is thinking inside the box. Fear is following the crowd. Fear will have you act like society's sheep. Fear is conformity.

Fear is an attack.

Fear is an attack on your motivations. Fear is an attack on your inspirations. Fear is an attack on your dreams. Fear is an attack on the best version of yourself. Fear preys on your insecurities. And, Fear will attack until you fight back.

Fear is a friend.

Fear is your compass. Fear is telling you where you need to go. Fear tells you where you need to grow. Fear is the devil you find at every new level. Fear is where the best version of yourself exists. Fear is what your creator wants you to be.

"Don’t follow your excitement… follow your fear."  Bryan Ward, Third Way Man.

Fear is a rush. 

Fear is exhilaration. Fear is the spine-tingling sensation you feel when you absolutely throw your whole heart in and try in spite of fear. Fear is the energy you feel when you say fuck fear and just go for it anyway. Fear is a high-octane fuel when you decide to use it.

Fear, when overcome, is the greatest personal victory any human can experience.

Follow your fear...

Are you frustrated? Here's why. And, what to do about it.

Frustration comes from two places.

Things you control and things you don't control. You become frustrated because the results you are getting are below what you expect.

It's that simple and it's that hard.

You may become frustrated with yourself, your spouse, your kids, your parents, your coworkers. No matter what the source of the frustration is, it is because you are expecting more than you are getting.

Do you want to immediately remove that feeling? Do you want to not feel frustrated? Then here is what you need to do.

Lower your expectations.

As soon as you lower your expectations, you remove the feeling of frustration. Almost as soon as you lower your expectations, you become more aligned with reality. You become more open to possibility.

Try it.

When you become frustrated, you create a negative energy that basically pushes away solutions. If you pursue frustration, it will create turmoil for yourself most of all.  And, your negative vibe will affect those around you.

Let it go....

Lower your expectations. Once you do this, you relax. You remove the tension, you reduce the negative energy that brings you and everyone involved further down and away from the solution.

As soon as you relax, you can reconnect with your purpose and find new ways to achieve what you are going for. The ideas will come to you. But, only when you relax.

In addition to lowering your expectations, it helps to realize that frustration means the goal you're not getting to can still be realized. Once you reach a point where the goal is not achievable you move from frustration to disappointment. So, feeling frustrated can serve as an action signal to avoid disappointment. Welcome it.

Once you relax, consider the situation. First, is it something that you control? If you are frustrated and it is something that you control, your probably frustrated with yourself. Your frustrated that you have not met your own expectations.

You didn't lose the weight, get to the gym, make the sale, keep your temper or whatever. You will need to make sure you didn't set your expectation to high. Consider a less lofty goal. Of course, if you just plain didn't try hard enough. You deserve to feel frustrated.

Try again.

If you are frustrated and it is something you don't control. You may need to not only lower your expectations. You may need to change them altogether. To understand what you control or don't control see The #1 Way To Improve The World.

If you are frustrated and it is something you can't control like the weather, the economy or the traffic your stuck in, you need to change your expectations and perhaps even prepare for disappointment. But, if it is something you can't control but have some influence over then there is something you can do.

Change your approach. 

Frustration with people often falls into this category. You cannot control other people but you can influence them. If they are not meeting your expectations it is because of the approach your using. If you change your approach, you will change your results.

Can't get your kids to pick up all their toys? Pleading and yelling not working for you? Try this. Tell them they only have to pick up the toys they want to keep and you'll take care of the rest.

Sometimes frustration can come from things and not people. Computers come to mind here. Again, change your approach. Instead of trying to force the situation, try to understand it. With things, it often comes down to understanding why something is not working. And, once you learn why something is not working, you change your approach to make it work.

Change your approach and you change your outcome.

You may even meet your expectations. 

And, frustration will fade away.

The Secret to Getting Started

We all have dreams. Some people even go after them. Those people should be applauded and admired. Even if they don't succeed. They should be recognized for at least trying. Because, let's be honest, most people don't even try.

Why don't more try?

Fear is the number one reason. Uncertainty about the future can have paralyzing effect on people. And, that fear can show up in many different forms.

It may be a fear of failure. You don't try to avoid the pain associated with failure like the loss of money or time. Or, for many, it is the risk of embarrassment that they did not succeed.

It may be fear of success. If things do work out, the pressure will be on to do even better. The expectations will only go up. And, they should.

Another form of this fear is in the excuses we trick ourselves with. We don't think we have the resources. We don't have the money or the time.  We don't know the right people. 

I’m too skinny, I’m too fat, I’m not in shape. I'm not smart enough, I don't have the education or the training.

Exucusitis comes in all shapes and sizes.  And, there doesn’t seem to be any limit to the excuses we’re willing to create.

We all have some greatness inside us. We all have some potential to be realized.  Those are your dreams. But, for some reason, most people don’t go for it.  

Someone wants to lose the weight, write the book, sing the song, run the marathon or whatever.  And, in their heads, they feel like they can do it.  They truly believe it.

But, they never try.

As is the case much too often, people just never get started.  They just never get going. They don't take that first step. They cannot see where they need to go. They don't know what to do. 

And so, they stand there and do nothing until life comes along and pushes them back into their daily routine. 

And, that dream gets pushed aside. Again.

That dream then becomes the seed of some future regret that will come out as a deathbed whisper of "I wish I had at least tried."

No matter what the endeavor, the key is to get started. 

Just take the first step.

If you don’t know what the first step is you need to consider the question you’re asking.  Many people ask the question, “How am I going to do that?”  That is not necessarily a bad question.  But, the "how" question often invokes analysis. You would use that question when you are trying to figure out how something happened.  In other words, something that has already happened and not something you are trying to get started on.

The how question is also our way of seeing the evidence that something can be done. It becomes the proof that we need to believe something is possible. 

We need to change our thinking about that. We actually have it in reverse. Instead of looking for the how we need to look for the what.  As in, what should I do?

Even better, what should I do right now?

Your job isn’t to know the how, it’s to know the what and to be open to discovering and receiving, the how.

Instead of asking how, you should ask what.  “What am I going to do” invokes action.

What leads you to the first step. What leads to action.

Your answers to "what should I do" are the actions you need to take. They are the steps to get to your goal.

You may not think of the first step first.  But, you will be thinking of the steps that need to be taken and from there you will develop a plan. And, you don't need to know all the steps.

Heed Martin Luther King’s advice, and take the first step in faith.  You don’t need to see the whole staircase, just the first step.

So, how do you start?  Where do you begin? Ironically, you begin with the end.  

What specifically are you trying to accomplish?  Once you identify specifically what you want, you can ask the question, what do I need to do to reach that end?

You want to lose ten pounds?  Then the specific end is that you want to lose ten pounds.  Just ask yourself the question, what do I need to do to lose ten pounds?  Write down your answers.  Make a list.  Ask the question repeatedly and keep writing the answers down.

Now you have a list of action items.  Things that you can do to start getting you closer to your goal. Now you can get started.  You don’t have to organize the list.  You could if you wanted to but be careful that this does not become a delaying tactic.  

Procrastination can be very deceiving.  There are many promising tomorrows that have just turned into empty yesterdays due to procrastination.

And, conditions don't have to be perfect. Some people delay starting because they need to get things set up. Remember Done is Better Than Perfect.

Pick something on the list and go do it.  It may be as simple as tossing the Oreos in the garbage or going to the market and buying fresh vegetables.

Small simple steps can get you started and getting started creates the momentum you need to keep going.

Now start working the list.  Some of the things you will need to do will be new habits you need to establish. If you get stuck go back to the question, "What do I do now?"

Once you get going, keep going. Consistent action is needed to reach big goals.

You want to write a book.  Write every day.

You want to be an awesome singer.  Sing every day.

You want to lose the weight. Diet and exercise everyday.

Once you get started, the path you need to take will start to unfold before your eyes.

What will you do today?

Sean

OMG! I'm A Manager!!

You just got promoted. You worked hard to get here. But, now what do you do?

If you are new to the manager level there a few things you need think about. Once you become responsible for the results of other people, it's a whole new game.

When you move to the next level almost regardless of what you do, you need to change how you go about accomplishment. As a line person, you are focused on tasks. As a manager, you will be focused on your team.

Here are five things to help you succeed as you move to the next level.

Is That A First World Complaint?

Is that a first world complaint?

I heard this question the other day and it stopped me.  What a great way to look at a problem or some other inconvenience.

Stuck in traffic? That's a First World Complaint.

Not enough time to go to your kid's sports activity and catch the new movie? That's a First World Complaint.

People who live in Third World Countries don't have these problems. They have Third World Country problems.

They deal with things like war, disease, famine. They are overpopulated and end up with food and water problems. They constantly struggle with starvation, drought, extreme thirst, hunger and malnutrition.

These countries are dirty too. One out of every five kids under the age of 5 dies from a water-related disease.


These poor kids deal with problems around child labor in mining and manufacturing. Many are forced into slavery which is a $32 billion dollar industry.


In Third World Countries only about 25% of people have any access to the internet. If I lose the Wifi in my house for 15 minutes, fixing it becomes the highest priority over anything else.

So, the next time your stuck in traffic, find your item out of stock at the grocery store or your coffee not made to your liking at the local coffee shop, ask yourself if that's a First World Problem.

You are lucky to have those problems and not the problems they have in Third World Countries. To understand how lucky you are to even live in this country read "Do You Know How Lucky You Are?"

The #1 Way To Improve The World

Much of what we see each day, especially through our media and our own minds, tends to be focused on the negative.  We tend to see what is wrong with people and situations. It could be bad weather, bad people, bad service or bad news. Or, all of the above.

The media focuses on these bad things because it attracts and holds viewers which in turn sells advertising. Our minds focus on bad things because it is trying to help us survive by keeping us safe and out of bad situations.

But, the world is not all bad.

There are situations that are good. There are things that are getting better. There are people and situations that can inspire us and make us feel good. But, only if we choose to see those situations.

Whether it is a good situation or a bad one. It could probably be better. Obviously, we want bad things to be better.  And, if you can make a good thing better, why not?

So, what do you do? What can you do to improve the world?

First, recognize what you can control and not control.

You cannot control the weather. Complaining about the weather is a waste of time and energy. And, you cast off a negative vibe to the world. You simply deal with it. 

You cannot control the economy. Whether inflation if high or low, whether interest rates are high or low, or whether the market is high or low is not under your control. You simply deal with it.

You cannot control world events. Terrorism, natural disasters and political scandal are going to happen. You cannot control them. You simply deal with them.

How do you deal with things you can't control? You deal with them with something you can control. Your attitude and response to them.

Your attitude and the way you respond are within your control. You get to choose how you think and respond in every situation. It is your choice.

So, the #1 way to improve the world is to improve yourself. 

Of all the things you can control in the world. You and your choices are the things you control the most. And, when you improve your choices, you improve yourself and, in turn, improve the world.

If all 7 billion of us focused on just improving ourselves, the breadth of our collective human potential is absolutely staggering.

There is another way to improve the world.

Another way is not something you control but something you influence. This can be a very grey area because your influence operates along a continuum or a spectrum. Some things you have a lot of influence over and some things not so much.

You can't control the economy but you can influence it. When you buy things you influence the economy.  But, let's be honest, your greatest purchase, usually your home, is insignificant on the overall economy. You have low influence here.  But, in other areas you have high influence.

You can't control other people.  But, you can influence them. Some you can influence to a greater degree than others. If you've ever had children you can experience the change of how much influence you have over their lifetimes. As infants you have a great deal of influence.  But, as a teenager...well, let's just say not as much.

So, the #1 way to improve the world is to improve yourself. Improve your mind, body and spirit.  Seek to find your potential. If you do this everyday, your ability to contribute to the world increases.  If you don't, it diminishes. 

How do you improve yourself?