You don't mean to do it. Just when you think you're going go after that goal or finally doing what you've always wanted to, you do something to screw it up. You don't mean to do it. Or, do you?
The subconscious is a clever little devil that is always at work trying to keep you safe. It will play tricks on your mind, convince you of things that are not true and blind you to what you need to see. But, the subconscious is dumb.
The subconscious is primitive and driven by emotions. It lives in constant fear especially the fear of change. And, it will be in the background quietly whispering reasons you should not do something. And, as a result you stop yourself from reaching your goals.
Why are you doing this?
1. Fear of loss. What you are doing now is familiar. It is your comfort zone. It may not be good for you. You may be eating too much, smoking, drinking, spending, yelling or whatever. But, it is a comfort zone. Even if what you are doing is not good for you, you are getting some good from it. Or, you wouldn't keep doing it.
When you consciously think about it, you know it is not good and you are motivated to change. And, as you soon as you begin to make the change you will feel like you are leaving something behind. Something that feels good and safe. That is the old you in a comfortable and familiar place even if that place was not good for you. As you move away from that place you get a feeling. That feeling is the fear of loss. It is a feeling that is primal and primitive.
And, it is wrong.
2. The illusion of self-control. This is when you think you can control yourself when you really can't. The temptation presents itself and you think, "just one." One cupcake, one drink, one cigarette. It doesn't matter what your one is, it is the number right before two. If you never have the one, you will never have the two.
Simple.
Don't trick yourself into thinking you have self-control while justifying that you deserve just one. Demonstrate self-control by not having the one. That is true self-control.
3. Boredom. This reason is connected to another human habit. It is the shot of dopamine you feel when you get excited. When you start to break away from an old habit for a new one, you will get those shots of dopamine. But, as the new habit takes effort to continue, the dopamine hits come less often.
To keep the dopamine coming you need to make sure you add variety to the new habit. If it's a new diet you can use spices or different recipes, or different places to eat. If it's exercise you can try new exercises. Any change to vary the new routine will keep the dopamine coming and your momentum strong.
4. You don't deserve it. This is the subconscious devil that tells you are not worthy. This comes from low self-esteem. The problem is that it isn't true. Low self-esteem usually stems for some experience you've had so long ago in your life that it is now irrelevant not to mention destructive. You do deserve it!
If you get determined, work hard and achieve your goal. You do deserve it. You've earned it. Stay focused on the goal and keep moving forward.
5. Fear of the unknown. All new action brings new experience. You will do what you haven't done before. You will go where you haven't gone before. That can be scary. Or, exciting.
Re-frame these fears from scary to exciting. They take on a new meaning that allows you to move towards the newness and let go of the familiar.
The key to beating all these behaviors is a high sense of personal awareness. Be careful about acting on voices in your head or the feelings that you get. Ask if it is the subconscious trying to hold you back.
No comments:
Post a Comment