Three Ways to Deal with Setbacks

Every now and again you’ll have one of those days.  Things don’t seem to work out and you experience setbacks.  Its human nature and quite understandable for someone to get down on days like this.  But, the quote, “Setbacks are a set up for a comeback,” really is the formula to deal with setbacks.

The quote is not specific with instruction as most quotes aren’t.  But, it is loaded with wisdom.  The quote’s answer to setbacks is to reset your mindset.  It reframes the setback so that you can look at it from a different point of view.  It takes the “end of the road” and turns it into a “bump in the road.”  It keeps you going.  But, it says even more.

Setbacks come in a variety of shapes and sizes.  Some are self-inflicted and some come from the outside world.  You skipped the workout, fell off your diet, didn’t say you were sorry, didn’t make the call, etc.  These are things that you control.  And, then there are things you don't control.

There are times when even when you’ve done your best, setbacks can come from areas you don’t control.  Your staff didn’t show up or they made a mistake, the bus is late, it poured rain on your new hair-do or whatever the world decided to do to ruin your day.

Regardless of what the setback is, there are a couple of simple ways to turn an unfortunate situation into a fortunate one.

1. Stay calm and look for the good in the situation. Yes, that can be hard to do. When you notice the coffee rolling down your rear window because you left it on the top of your car will make you want to scream. But, no matter what happens there is usually something to at least learn. And, that is always a positive.

2. Think "now what?" Thinking this way forces you to accept the situation. It has happened and there is nothing you can do about it. It also prompts you to think about what action you can take now given the new circumstances. Move on.

3. Do not beat yourself up. If you can read this your human. If your human, you're going to make mistakes. Accept it, get over it, and move on.

If you really want to take a setback and give is some meaning think this thought:

"What if life happens for us, and not to us?" Tony Robbins

What is Discipline?

This is one of the most misunderstood personal characteristics of human behavior. And, one of the most admired.

It can single-highhandedly be the very reason someone succeeds in spite of great challenges and limited resources. And, it is not limited to just success with money. Being disciplined can assist and accelerate growth in any area of life. Discipline will make you healthier, wealthier, communicate better, be more focused, improve your relationships and avoid problems.

Discipline helps in every area of life. Discipline helps with your personal life, your career, your extended relationships and in social settings.

There is virtually no limit to what this single personal behavior can do for a person. And, the best part is that it is not something a person is born with. It is a skill that can be learned and developed. And, anyone can learn it. Anyone can apply it.  Anyone can use it to make their life better.

If they choose to...

Discipline is a choice. 

It is a choice between doing what you want to do and doing what you need to do. This distinction is an important one. There are things people want to do that at one time they needed to. And, by using discipline the need to do became a want to do.

Discipline helped them get started. And, occasionally they will use discipline to keep themselves going. But, the disciplined repetition turned it into a habit making ongoing discipline unnecessary.

Discipline is an attitude.

It is an attitude of always doing what the right thing no matter how hard it is. It's having the uncomfortable conversation you need to have with a friend, a coworker or a spouse but don't want to have. It's eating the salad instead of the ice cream. It's going to the gym instead of hitting the snooze button.

Discipline is a mindset.

It is an unyielding way of thinking. It is seeing what needs to be done and doing it no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient it may be. It is the engagement of a single-minded purpose that refuses to lose.

Discipline is consistency.

It is doing the the right thing over and over again no matter how boring or monotonous it may seem. It is understanding that Little Things Do Matter. And, doing the little things day in and day out achieves big things over time.

Discipline is a commitment.

It is a decision to do a certain thing and stick with it until is is done. It is realizing that Done Is Better Perfect and all results count in getting to the goal. It is never giving up.

Discipline is a challenge.

It is the reason you feel tired after pushing where others would have quit. It is the reason you feel stretched. It is the reason you have grown to become someone you could have never even imagined becoming.  But, so glad you did.

Discipline is the difference.

It is the difference between you and the non-achiever. It is the reason you succeed and others fail. It is the reason you have a fulfilled life and others taste regret. It is the difference between success and failure. It is the difference between the you that tried and the you that didn't try.

Discipline is the answer.

It is the answer to any problem that plagues you. It is the answer to any challenge you face. It is the answer to any obstacle that you need to overcome.

You already know what to do. Discipline will make you do it. 

Discipline is the answer to Fear.

The Secret to Getting Started

We all have dreams. Some people even go after them. Those people should be applauded and admired. Even if they don't succeed. They should be recognized for at least trying. Because, let's be honest, most people don't even try.

Why don't more try?

Fear is the number one reason. Uncertainty about the future can have paralyzing effect on people. And, that fear can show up in many different forms.

It may be a fear of failure. You don't try to avoid the pain associated with failure like the loss of money or time. Or, for many, it is the risk of embarrassment that they did not succeed.

It may be fear of success. If things do work out, the pressure will be on to do even better. The expectations will only go up. And, they should.

Another form of this fear is in the excuses we trick ourselves with. We don't think we have the resources. We don't have the money or the time.  We don't know the right people. 

I’m too skinny, I’m too fat, I’m not in shape. I'm not smart enough, I don't have the education or the training.

Exucusitis comes in all shapes and sizes.  And, there doesn’t seem to be any limit to the excuses we’re willing to create.

We all have some greatness inside us. We all have some potential to be realized.  Those are your dreams. But, for some reason, most people don’t go for it.  

Someone wants to lose the weight, write the book, sing the song, run the marathon or whatever.  And, in their heads, they feel like they can do it.  They truly believe it.

But, they never try.

As is the case much too often, people just never get started.  They just never get going. They don't take that first step. They cannot see where they need to go. They don't know what to do. 

And so, they stand there and do nothing until life comes along and pushes them back into their daily routine. 

And, that dream gets pushed aside. Again.

That dream then becomes the seed of some future regret that will come out as a deathbed whisper of "I wish I had at least tried."

No matter what the endeavor, the key is to get started. 

Just take the first step.

If you don’t know what the first step is you need to consider the question you’re asking.  Many people ask the question, “How am I going to do that?”  That is not necessarily a bad question.  But, the "how" question often invokes analysis. You would use that question when you are trying to figure out how something happened.  In other words, something that has already happened and not something you are trying to get started on.

The how question is also our way of seeing the evidence that something can be done. It becomes the proof that we need to believe something is possible. 

We need to change our thinking about that. We actually have it in reverse. Instead of looking for the how we need to look for the what.  As in, what should I do?

Even better, what should I do right now?

Your job isn’t to know the how, it’s to know the what and to be open to discovering and receiving, the how.

Instead of asking how, you should ask what.  “What am I going to do” invokes action.

What leads you to the first step. What leads to action.

Your answers to "what should I do" are the actions you need to take. They are the steps to get to your goal.

You may not think of the first step first.  But, you will be thinking of the steps that need to be taken and from there you will develop a plan. And, you don't need to know all the steps.

Heed Martin Luther King’s advice, and take the first step in faith.  You don’t need to see the whole staircase, just the first step.

So, how do you start?  Where do you begin? Ironically, you begin with the end.  

What specifically are you trying to accomplish?  Once you identify specifically what you want, you can ask the question, what do I need to do to reach that end?

You want to lose ten pounds?  Then the specific end is that you want to lose ten pounds.  Just ask yourself the question, what do I need to do to lose ten pounds?  Write down your answers.  Make a list.  Ask the question repeatedly and keep writing the answers down.

Now you have a list of action items.  Things that you can do to start getting you closer to your goal. Now you can get started.  You don’t have to organize the list.  You could if you wanted to but be careful that this does not become a delaying tactic.  

Procrastination can be very deceiving.  There are many promising tomorrows that have just turned into empty yesterdays due to procrastination.

And, conditions don't have to be perfect. Some people delay starting because they need to get things set up. Remember Done is Better Than Perfect.

Pick something on the list and go do it.  It may be as simple as tossing the Oreos in the garbage or going to the market and buying fresh vegetables.

Small simple steps can get you started and getting started creates the momentum you need to keep going.

Now start working the list.  Some of the things you will need to do will be new habits you need to establish. If you get stuck go back to the question, "What do I do now?"

Once you get going, keep going. Consistent action is needed to reach big goals.

You want to write a book.  Write every day.

You want to be an awesome singer.  Sing every day.

You want to lose the weight. Diet and exercise everyday.

Once you get started, the path you need to take will start to unfold before your eyes.

What will you do today?

Sean

OMG! I'm A Manager!!

You just got promoted. You worked hard to get here. But, now what do you do?

If you are new to the manager level there a few things you need think about. Once you become responsible for the results of other people, it's a whole new game.

When you move to the next level almost regardless of what you do, you need to change how you go about accomplishment. As a line person, you are focused on tasks. As a manager, you will be focused on your team.

Here are five things to help you succeed as you move to the next level.

4 Things that Make Email Work Better For You

Email can be such productivity wonder at best and then a total time-suck at the same time.  It can get overwhelming to deal with all the emails, appointment requests and task assignments.  Are there days when you feel like you’ve accomplished nothing because the constant email distractions?  Then you might have email fatigue.

If so, keep reading…

There are some tips and tricks that I have learned to use to keep email under control.  But, before I get into those, let’s make sure we understand what email is not meant to be.

It is not an instant message program requiring immediate replies.  You don’t have to answer every email every time you look in your inbox.  You don’t need to check it constantly.  I like what Tim Ferris’s says about email.  “Get off the cocaine pellet dispenser and focus on execution of your top to-do’s instead of responding to manufactured emergencies.”

There are a bunch of tips and tricks to managing email.  Here are a couple I use.

Shut off the notification feature.  This is easily the biggest productivity killer there is.  You can be cruising along and making fantastic progress on a project and this pops up.    

      

This is the cocaine pellet dispenser at work.  You can shut this feature off.  I shut this off in 2005 and have never used it since.  Guess what?  I never got fired or died as a result either.  Here’s how to do that:

Also, don’t forget about that little envelope that shows up in the tray too. Get rid of it!

Here is one disclaimer on the notifications.  There are going to be certain people that you want to know when you’ve received an email from them.  Your boss might be one of these people. My wife is another, for me anyway. For those emails you can set up an alert to pop on your desktop similar to a notification.  It will only happen for those people you choose.  You will be given an option to read it now or later.  You can go here to learn about that feature:  Outlook Rules.

Funnel low priority emails to a folder.  This is one method that keeps your InBox from becoming a cesspool of useless information.  Only allow higher priority emails to enter the InBox.  Again, you can use the Outlook Rules feature to do this.

Batch-check your email.  I look at email in the morning, at noon and before leaving for the day.  The rest of the time is spent on higher priority tasks. It takes some getting used to. But, when you see how much you get done, it is amazing!

Okay, someone got upset with you for not replying right away.  Apologize and explain your email approach and how it makes you super-productive achieving the company’s mission and goals.  Who can argue with that?

How can you make your email more effective?  I’ll work on that next.   Right now, I have to check email.

Leave a comment if you have other ideas that can help with managing email.

Thanks,

Sean